Picture two Senior People Ops Managers. Same credentials. Wildly different careers.
We'll call them Jordan and Alex. Both came from top-tier companies. Both can design a performance management system in their sleep and speak fluently about employee engagement drivers, comp philosophy, and org design.
Jordan is brilliant—genuinely, one of the sharpest strategic thinkers out there. But working with Jordan means:
- waiting three days for Slack responses while department heads scramble to finalize their headcount plans
- sitting through meetings where they poke holes in every people strategy without offering alternatives
- playing detective to figure out where a policy change stands because updates are sporadic at best
- feeling slightly defensive after every interaction—even though you often can't pinpoint why you feel that way
Jordan moves companies every 18 months, usually after organizational reshuffles where his role "wasn't the right fit anymore."
Alex is also sharp—maybe not quite as quick as Jordan on pure strategic horsepower. But working with Alex means:
- getting thoughtful responses within hours, even if it's "Great question—let me pull the turnover data and get back to you by EOD tomorrow"
- leaving meetings with clear next steps and feeling like your concerns about team culture have been genuinely heard
- never having to wonder where the compensation review stands because Alex proactively shares timeline updates
- feeling energized rather than drained after collaboration sessions
When Alex's startup got acquired, three different teams tried to poach her. When she eventually moved to a new company, two former colleagues followed her there within six months.
Alex's career trajectory looks less like job hopping and more like being pulled from opportunity to opportunity by people who'd worked with her before. Same industry. Similar skills. Wildly different career trajectories.
The difference? Jordan optimized for being right. Alex optimized for being someone everyone wanted to work with.
The invisible career multiplier
A lot of career advice focuses on skills and credentials—the things you can put on a resume.
But in world where the average recruiter handles 2,500+ applications and referrals make up 1% of applications, but 16% of hires, there's a more powerful differentiator: Be someone who everyone wants to work with again.
Your collaboration style determines whether people pull you into critical projects, recommend you for stretch opportunities, or actively recruit you when they move to new companies. And unlike in-demand technical skills, which can change quickly, your network value compounds and tends to be stable over time.
Being someone everyone wants to work with doesn't mean being the nicest person in the room. It means being the person who makes other people's work easier, clearer, and more effective.
The most valued collaborators consistently:
- Reduce friction in cross-functional work
- Increase clarity when ambiguity threatens progress
- Deliver reliably even when circumstances change
- Bring good energy that makes hard problems feel more manageable
So how do you deliberately build this reputation? Here are six principles that turn collaboration from a soft skill into a career accelerator.
🎯 Six principles of magnetic collaboration
1. Re-earn trust through delivery (quarter after quarter)
Your credibility has an expiration date. In fast-moving startups, what you delivered three quarters ago matters less than whether or not people can count on you to deliver this quarter.
The practice: Hit your deadlines. When something is expected to slip, update people early with a concrete plan. Connect your work to others' metrics. Be clear in all communications.
The signal you send: "They get things done and I never have to chase them down."
2. Make people feel smart and seen
A lot of people are slightly overloaded and secretly worried they're missing something important at all times. The collaborators people gravitate toward make them feel more competent, not less.
The practice: Ask "What would make this easier for you?" before jumping into your agenda. Credit others publicly. Be genuinely curious about why someone set up a system before suggesting improvements. Share context generously.
The signal you send: "They make me feel competent and respected, not defensive."
3. Become the friction killer
Process friction kills startup velocity. The person who consistently smooths out the rough edges becomes indispensable.
The practice: Be the one to bring clarity to ambiguous situations by recapping what you know and offering options to consider. Document the knowledge that "lives in Susan's head." Anticipate blockers and solve them before they require escalation.
The signal you send: "They're the easiest person to align with across teams."
4. Be a source of calm and candor
Emotional contagion is real in high-pressure environments. People unconsciously mirror the emotional tone of those around them.
The practice: Use calm, solution-oriented language. Praise publicly, give constructive feedback privately. Admit mistakes quickly without defensiveness. Bring steady energy to crisis moments.
The signal you send: "When things go sideways, I want them in the room."
5. Stay curious about the business
Companies reward people who learn faster than the organization changes. The most magnetic collaborators stay curious about the business, not just their functional area.
The practice: Listen to customer calls. Read product updates and understand the roadmap. Learn the financial model well enough to connect your work to business outcomes. Share useful insights across teams.
The signal you send: "They care about the business, not just their lane."
6. Manage your reputation through micro-signals
Your reputation compounds through hundreds of tiny interactions. People form judgments based on patterns of behavior, not one-off heroics.
Behaviors that signal reliability: Following up on Slack threads. Showing up to meetings on time. Asking "Is there anything I can take off your plate this week?" Keeping energy positive without toxic positivity (if things are bad, keep it real and help find a path to make them better).
The signal you send: "They're dependable, trustworthy, and high EQ."
What this looks like in practice
You're looped into a Slack thread to take action on a high priority project, but you don't have context on timeline, budget, or goals.
Use the CALM approach to get clarity without sounding demanding:
- Confirm understanding: "Thanks for looping me in on X—it's really helpful to see the plan laid out."
- Ask for clarity: "To move forward effectively, can we align on [1-3 specific things]"
- Lay out next steps: "Once I have answers to the questions above, I will [concrete action]"
- Make the timeline specific: "by [timeframe]"
This response takes 90 seconds to write but signals competence, reliability, and consideration.
The compounding effect
In 6 months: You stop getting left out of important conversations.
In 12 months: You're the person leaders think of first for stretch projects.
In 3 years: When someone on your team gets promoted or moves to a new company, you're the first person they try to bring with them.
In 5 years: You have a reputation that precedes you. People you've never met want to work with you because someone they trust vouched for you. Even in a tight job market, you turn down multiple inbound offers.
📌 The Four-T Playbook: Tip, Trick, Tactic, or Template
Every edition, I’ll share a proven insight to help you scale faster, smarter, and more efficiently.
👉 Tip: If you're at a point in your career where you're not showing up at your best — maybe you're frustrated at your manager, feeling overlooked or under-valued, or overwhelmed with circumstances outside of work — you can take this newsletter and turn it into a custom GPT or Claude Project that helps you respond to emails, Slacks, or other messages.
To do that, copy this newsletter and open Prompt Cowboy (my preferred free prompt improvement tool) to create a set of custom instructions that meet your company's governance guidelines and help you collaborate like someone that everyone wants to work with again.
This is a short-term hack, but it can be helpful until you either build the skills to respond immediately and directly with the 6 principles of magnetic collaboration in mind or reach a place where you feel like you're able to more regularly emotionally regulate the way your best self does.
Final thoughts:
Your skills and expertise might get you hired, but it's the full S.E.T. (skills, experiences, and traits like collaboration) that determine whether people want to work with you again.
It's about being trustworthy and reliable, making other people's jobs easier, and making work a more enjoyable place to show up every day. Do that well, and opportunities will find you.
I'd love to hear: What behavioral traits have made the biggest difference in your career? What's worked (or backfired)? Hit reply and let's talk.
Until next time,
Melissa
